Good morning everyone!!
It’s a cold blustery island morning. Strong winds and rain showers with the sun creeping out for a few seconds every now and then.
All in all a real ‘winters’ morning. As far as winter goes when one lives on a rock in the middle of the ocean that is. The kind of weather that makes you grab (the only) sweatpants and a light jersey instead of the sundress and the bikini. The wind is blowing and it’s really miserable outside. Reason enough to take the morning off and spend it indoors catching up on my admin that went amiss this past week.
I saw a quote this morning about spending time alone with yourself. Do you have time or opportunity to do that? I never used to have when the kids were smaller but I find that I have more and more time to spend alone thinking about life and doing things I enjoy the older and more independent they get.
It took me a long time to value this ‘alone time’. By the time I resigned my teaching job at the end of 2017 I was so excited to finally be a ‘stay at home mom’ for the first time again in many many years. What actually transpired was that the minute I was alone at home in January with both kids gone off to school I hit panic stations. The house was too quiet, there was no one to talk to and I was alone with myself. A self that I have grown out of. A self that I did not know well anymore.
I’m only giving the short version of this today as I can write a few chapters on this topic as being alone scared me at first. It took me months to get used to being at home by myself with the freedom of doing what I wanted when I wanted. I was hankering for my classroom full of kids and the company of my colleagues who were also close friends, but I had made a decision and I couldn’t go back. It was really hard for the longest time.
Looking back now it was a time of preparation. Because although I knew in the back of my head Mauritius was a possible life changer for us it wasn’t a sure thing yet back then but with hindsight I would have had a much harder time being ‘alone’ with myself on this teensy island had I not had time to adapt and adjust to ‘me, myself and I’ during 2018.
I experienced the growth that was necessary and good for me however hard it was dealing with it in the moment. Everyone that knows me knows full well that I am a social animal. I adore people and I love making new friends and acquaintances so being alone in my own company and in my own head was hard. The upshot is that I got to know myself again. My likes and dislikes, my dreams for the future, my passions started coming out of the hiding places I’ve delegated them to whilst the kids were younger.
18 months in I at a place where I can now enjoy and value my alone time. My downtime, my recharge time, because when I social I do so with all my might, spending all my energy and time, and give all of myself so I need the quiet times for the batteries to fill up again for the next time.
This is my story about spending time alone. What is yours? Do you have the time? Do you make the time? Do you use it well and value it? Do you not care about having time alone?
I do believe we all need the odd hour or two just to decompress and focus on our own needs and issues for a little bit so we can fill up our cup in order to fill the cups of others.
Have a lovely Friday all!