Sans the muse but going strong
Every now and then I go through a period where I experience major writer’s block. It would seem that I am in such a space once more. I’m absolutely dying to write but once I sit down to get going the muse takes flight and I can hear her cackling as she takes off and leaves me wallowing in my misery looking at a blank screen. The most I’m able to manage these days are a feeble Facebook post or two or some photographs taken in haste.
I suppose all our hectic life changes of late also play some sort of role in both my current lack of creativity and productivity. There are many days that I still find myself in awe at how quickly we went from beach bums with our toes in the sand, living on a rock to responsible citizens applying for jobs and living the high life in Cape Town. Working long hours which leaves me tired and with no energy for anything else. Not that I am not enjoying my new job, I absolutely adore it! It’s satisfying in so many ways, I get to be creative, deal with customers and do some social media stuff. How lucky can one person get? Admittedly the long hours have been hard going since I’ve not been used to it but I am getting there slowly but surely.
Nevertheless, I look around me and marvel at how quickly we’ve adapted to this sudden change without blinking. Or so it feels, because yes, I know…..I have a habit of making these things look easy. A way of making it seem like we just take it in our strides but believe me. It’s not always so smooth-going behind the scenes. One should never believe everything you see or read on social media. In our house, we have our fair shares of ups and downs and rants against things that are not going exactly how we would have wanted it. I just don’t always share all on Facebook as I do believe one should keep some modicum of privacy.
Being back at home most certainly has its advantages, the most obvious one that we can be close to our families once more. The second most important one to me was that I’m able to work again, a fact that was most definitely NOT a given in these uncertain times. Being back also brought its own set of challenges. Having sold our car before going to Mauritius means we are having to fork out money for a vehicle soon. Not owning a house in Cape Town means being dependent on the fractious and very expensive rental market reigning here. Covid and its many restrictions not helping whatsoever. However, we are blessed to be able to move into an empty rental within the foreseeable future, for all my apparent patience at having to wait that day cannot come soon enough. My hands are itching to unpack my storage and once more create a home surrounded by all my beautiful things. I cannot stop thinking of paint colors, rearranging furniture in my head, and planning some heavy-duty hours in the garden.
Unfortunately, we still have a month or two to wait. I’m breathing guys, I’m breathing.
Something I am finding hard to deal with since having returned is the bureaucracy and yards and yards of red tape one has to make a dent in for the simplest of things. It is driving me up the walls and simple tasks like opening a bank account for my youngest and applying for his learners have had me swearing like a sailor these last few weeks. The absolute impotence and frustrations of not being able to walk into a place with all the relevant information at hand and be helped in one session but instead being sent from pillar to post. These are the things I haven’t missed. The wasted hours of waiting to be helped only to have to return home with no missions accomplished. Hopefully, the next time we go it will be better, maybe the next time we will encounter that one person that actually wants to help you; one can but hope.
It is times like these that I think often times it’s probably better to have writer’s block than have a moan at red tape and unhelpful officials. I honestly don’t want to be remembered for that although it does get my blood boiling at times. I have the patience of a saint until I don’t.
On another note; being back has been great on many levels. Finding our feet sometimes harder than we are making it seem but considering how blessed we are during these trying times none of us are complaining. The whole pandemic thing is frustrating and hard on all of us and if you are even just managing at this point to keep your head above water then good on you. We were lucky to have a fairly soft landing coming back as hubby was just transferred to another boat and is already on his second 14 day trip since being back from Mauritius. Equally blessed was I to land a job after being back not even 3 weeks. A record even for me.
This coming weekend will mark our 3 months back in SA anniversary. Every now and then I have to pinch myself that we are back in our previous community, one where it feels like everything’s changed but everything is the same. The familiarity of knowing the people in our neighborhood, hearing Afrikaans and English and not a word of French and Creole. Clean streets and beaches in our vicinity. Cheaper food (for us as island food was really very pricey due to imports), a greater variety of everything, and the coldest weather I’ve experienced in almost 3 years.
Writer’s block despite, we’re doing great. Life is good. We’re happy to be back. We don’t know what the future holds but that’s OK. With the world in a current state of a pandemic, nobody knows so we just take it day by day and make the most of what’s in front of us at the moment. I find more and more in life that it’s OK not to have all the answers or not to know what tomorrow might bring.
I’m always grateful for each and every one of you on my page following my humble journey. Keep an eye out on my page for a writing challenge I’ll be posting soon.