No school tomorrow but I am still suffering from Sunday blues? How does that work? I am supposed to be in seventh heaven because I don’t have to go to school in the morning but for some reason I am bogged down with ‘that Sunday feeling’, the feeling of despair, the no-man’s land of feelings, the missing people I don’t even know feeling.
Part of me knows deep down that I can attribute a big part of it to hubby still being away in Mauritius, going for 13 weeks and counting! And yes, I know I just came back from the most amazing trip ever visiting him there but it was ever so depressing leaving him behind even though I know he’ll be home within the next few weeks.
It has just been too long! I can see it in my moods, I can see it in my kids. I can see it in my house, garden and many other areas in my life that him not being here has had a depressing go-slow effect on all of us. My creative side has dried up, not even one project on the go whereas when he is around I always have 100 going at once. I am needy for attention and conversation other than my two teenagers whom I love with every fiber of my body but I am desperately in need of more but at the same time I have been sequestering myself in the house not venturing out to see friends much as it feels like to much work.
I feel it in my body as I manifest my stresses in my body I have been suffering with aches and pains having to go to the doctor and the physio which is not an everyday occurrence for me as I am normally a very active person busy, busy, busy and always on the go. Lately though missing hubby and his support and help I have been feeling suspended in time, not going forward nor backward but just passing time which makes it harder for me to deal with important decisions and everyday issues. That is not the normal me. The normal me is a take-charge, sort things out, get going, make decisions in a split-second type of person not someone who hangs around waiting for someone else to do something for me.
Sitting here I am trying to bolster my mood to be happy for the kids’ sake but that Sunday feeling is a bitch.
Why do we get Sunday blues in general? Do you suffer from it? What is the difference between a lazy Saturday afternoon and a dread-filled Sunday afternoon when the mere thought of Monday depresses our souls? Are we so programmed that even the knowledge of not having to go to work tomorrow doesn’t register over the Sunday blues? Pavlov’s theory at work? So conditioned that feeling down wins over having fun and being happy? That whether we must go to work or not on Monday morning, Sunday blues will still win out?
Now to ‘un-condition’ myself, and yip, I just made that word up. 😉 I need to get back my mojo, find my muse, get hubby back home asap for some much-needed love and attention and get my backside into gear and kick this Sunday feeling to kingdom come. It might not work immediately but practice makes perfect! Just to confirm, I don’t have school tomorrow or for that matter…. next Monday either, so in the meantime I can revel in that.
But right now…for the moment…I am gonna turn that radio loud, make some supper, watch a movie or two with the brats, stay up late and just have fun!! Till next time!
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